when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
