He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
