why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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