Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
