Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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