i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
