dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Randomize
