never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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