Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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