i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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