you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
