Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize