I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Come on in and take your pants off
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