the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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