i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
