O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
