you turned your livingroom into a bong?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
