Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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