i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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