These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
