dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The air was thick with penises
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
