idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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