I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
