Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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