I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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