we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
