it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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