I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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