People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
