Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
