try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
