You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
