im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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