I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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