three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize