I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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