Already got asked if we're dating
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize