He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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