: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize