Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
