In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
