You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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