I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Randomize