The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
