I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
