So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
