If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
