I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
