): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
