I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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