gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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