hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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