Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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