New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize