He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
