Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize