She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
