So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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