woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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