Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
