No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
