I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
