So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
