Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize