You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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