just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
