before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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