I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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